Unable to attract a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for 'cheating' and causing him 'mental suffering'. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he's been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women. Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products. No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her "Where the !@#$ is the Axe effect? I've been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I'm sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I'd try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!" Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness. Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company's instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn't experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products. "I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I'd always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I'd do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children's reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai." Vaibhav expressed his frustration. Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard. HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn't possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court. "HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don't attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I'd suggest that the company settles this issue out of court." noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

Please help....

"Jai Ho!" : The Pussycat Dolls version

I recently saw this pussycat dolls' version of Jai Ho!. Well, I dunno if just me, or did u also notice? that, day by day the presence of the other members of the "band" (???) is growing smaller and smaller than Nicole's in any of the videos. No offence to all u Nicole fans, but I guess its just a lil justice if the others get some air time atleast and not just measly, out of focus camera jabs dat they are being subjected to in the videos. Wonder how they stand upto this. I think maybe its cos they think they'd be nothing without her..or maybe she is THE most hyper talented woman musician/magician who has them under her wicked spell . Anyways, I felt that all of them looked like drag queens at some points of the video....but since this is for the Nicole fans...the video follows....

T2 BOX SET ::: WTF?????

Well, all the cyborg talk of the last post led me to snoop around for Some T2 jewels...T2 or Terminator 2 is a movie I really, really, really , really like... it was like the most wonderful movie I had seen at that time, with all its SFx and stuff like dat... back in the glory days when we used to watch movies on VHS..(*sigh*),.,... So when i saw this foto in a site, I really rushed to see wat it was...well it was the T2 box set....and that quickly brings us to the next question...what is in the Box?...

Well, the following are the items in the box:

• Terminator 2 Skynet Edition Blu-ray
• Terminator 2 Extreme Edition DVD
• Terminator 2 Ultimate Edition DVD
• Terminator 2 Digital Copy
• A 14" terminator endoskull which is the container for the said discs. This lil thing...actually lights up and makes wierd noses!!
  

This Terminator 2 Complete Collector's Set for just $120....now which moronic numb-skulls will buy four copies of the same dvd for that price???...well certainly not ME(ur still asking why?? cos i am not a moronic numb-skull, u numb-skull!) even though its like one of my favorite movies of all time ..hope u don't get duped by scooping up this stuff under the influence of terminator salvation fever (wat ? dont tell me u dont know the name of the forthcoming sequel to the terminator series)...By the way, during the same search for T2 stuff, i found some nice unreleased stuff from the T2 movie...will post them in some subsequent post ....
So 'til that time ..
Hasta la vista, baby

The day of the Cyborg draws near!!!

Just read it in one editorial of one of the newspapers dat I read... (actually i read only one ... was just feebly trying to show off some cerebral Machoism, by saying 'papers'!! heh heh) ...that some medical scientists may have taken quite a giant step towards one holy grail of Medical science....an implantable "Total Artificial Heart".

According to the article, a group of medical scientists from the The IIT Kharagpur's School of Medical Science and Technology, seemed to have devised an artificial heart, which it seems, can be made available for just Rs.100,000!!- thats 30 times cheaper than the ones avaialble abroad. The device is the result of 4 four years of effort ..which has resulted in the unique 13-chambered (and I thought the human heart had only four!!) prototype which is allegedly more reselient and tougher than any model available anywhere. It has already been succesfully tested on small animals like frogs etc..with tests on goats in the pipline (will be held around May...PeTA ppl hope u guys are reading this stuff?...so get ready for some action already !!... this technology needs some publicity..) After obtaining the requisite permisssions from the Indian Council for Medical Research, the inventors of the device, hope to go in for human implantation.....

Wat are the effects of this? well, for one, it catapults India into the 'cutting' edge arena for advanced prosthetic research... it also provides,and, in a way , accelerates the Judgment Day as told to Sarah Conner (Dunno wat i referring ? well, go and watch Terminator and Terminator 2... u dolt!) by providing a huge step towards the cheap and mass production of bionic ppl (otherwise known as cyborgs...hmmm, I know that Ur thinking i watch too much sci-fi...but hey don blame wen the day finally dawns on us....)....other side effects includes some stuff for humans by saving lives through providing cheaper alternative to saving lives of many ppl...wo know this may end up increasing the already swelling throngs of medical tourists to India...

But then one may also wonder dat till when this technology will be required? or who knows? by the time the tech is finally ready for use the regenerative medicine may itself get a boost of its own and thus make the prosthetic, a tech of yesterday .....

Uncyclopedia ::: get all ur "Un-Knowledge" Here !!!

Hmmm, random web-surfing leads you to some pretty wierd/novel/funny/shocking/yada yada sites. I found Uncyclopedia on one such random ride atop a strange wave in the vast "Internet-ic" Ocean....

Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
24,014 articles in English

.... are the words which welcome you on the home page ....leading you on to unlearn virtually everything that you have learnt since childhood...
A parody of the Wikipedia...this wiki of satire aims to be as expansive as its analogous site....and also operates in a pretty similar manner...'cept for the fact that the authors are supposed to write nothing but the absolute fiction about anything in the world (without being offensive of course, ...the times being troubling as they already are)...

Well, I found that I was behaving pretty much the same as in Wikipedia, wer I'd start in some random topic and keep drilling and wandering till I reached some wierdo page which is completely unrelated to wat I came searching there for in the first place...albeit the difference being that none of the pages were fact( fiction at its purest!!)...in general, the experience was quite fun ..though I found some articles too ridiculous to be funny (Guess i am too "smart" !!...hmmm now thats a fiction that'd make a good entry there heh heh).. Anyways, here's an excerpt which I think made quite a splash when it was published in the wiki :

The One True Monster

The Flying Spaghetti MONSTER is only called such because of his distinctly non-human form; we were not created in his image, not by a long shot.

“Let us sing praise to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for He is a loving God. Of His might and dominion, there is no compare; of His mercy and deliciousness, there is no equal. No other god can challenge Him; in the taste test, He is invincible. Through His pasta, He has blessed us with everlasting life, and holy is His Name. For He is the Flying Spaghetti Monster: the One, True, and Most High God, creator of man and midgit, giver of pasta, giver of sauce, from age to holy age; not created He was, but ever He lives, through the glory of spaghetti, now and forever. R'Amen.”

~ Ishmali Camuwundra on the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Here's the Wikipedia page on its parody....

I think the wiki's worth one visit atleast .... to see how imaginative ppl can really be !!!