The First Grader.....

Stumbled across this old joke. Long, yet quite funny! ( BTW .. IIM Ahmedabad is currently the best B-School in India, in case you haven't heard of it)

A beautiful teacher was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. teacher asked,'Boy. What is your problem?'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!'

Teacher had enough. She took the Boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
the Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test..
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy.: '9'.

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy.: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at teacher and tells her, 'I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.'

Teacher says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?' The principal and Boy both agreed.

Teacher asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of'?
Boy, after a moment 'Legs.'


Teacher : 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy.: 'Pockets.'

Teacher : What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Teacher : What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Teacher : You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Teacher : A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Teacher : I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Teacher : I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Teacher : What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Fire truck

Teacher : What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it, u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Teacher : What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME.

Teacher : What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to
IIM AHMEDABAD,
I got the last ten questions wrong myself!'.

Please help....

Software Career Growth Meter... Where do you Stand??:::email forward

Ha ha !..I got this picture few days back in my mail...still at awe how the foto actually imitates real life!!!

keep watching this space, i have a good post related to this comin up in a few hours....hope u'll love it.....ciao

A Judge's Dilemma ::: An E-mail forward

I got this forwarded mail the other day...kinda seemed interesting enough to post....

In a small town, a person decided to open up a liquor shop, which was right opposite to a church.

The church & its congregation started a campaign to block the liquor shop from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the liquor shop and it was burnt to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the liquor owner sued the church authorities on the grounds that the church through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his liquor shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons for the act of God. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

'I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a liquor shop owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire church that doesn't.'

Dog Story::: an email forward

This was a forward from my fren ashu on his Birthday.. good similie but i am an atheist and ashu hates dogs!!! ha ha ha...Didn't get it?? .. i know ..so keep reading...

" This explains why I forward jokes..

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead..
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them..

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road..

It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you ha pp en to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
The man gestured, and the gate began to open..

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book..

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it..
The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog..
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree..
"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked..

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, we're just ha pp y that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo.
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word..

Maybe this will explain..
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes..
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes..
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes..

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?
A forwarded joke..

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime ..

P.S. – I personally hate dogs and all other animals .(By ashu...) "

Happy Birthday ashu !!!!